A license, a Job, a Goal...

Just some call back, i have graduate, with a register license in my hand, a job awaiting for me, I believe is a start for a new set goal~ Maybe i could have a few~ The first day i step into the college, until now i have finish my diploma, times just so fast, now only i realize i'm in the new realm of my life. In this new year, i share it with my family, a new born baby, a man who i loved, friends that appreciated. Things just in it own place, as i know God has it plan nicely for me~ i love You, my Father in Heaven. 2011 was a tired year, studying, sharing, releasing, earning, helping, knowing new people. But, i still enjoy it, because from all the tiredness, i earn trust, love, and honesty. As i walk and cross over to 2012, i know there will be more for me to know, to learn, to establish. I want to follow my Lords foot step and grow, for there is always "impossible, difficult and Done" in life, but i know there will always be 2 foot print on the walk , as i will be waking with God in this year and every year to come.

The journey to the top

As the new year comes, i enjoy my last few days with my friend, and take a short journey to Batu Caves. Even is just a short journey,but we enjoyed it well. Still remember the last time i went to batu cave, i was only 12years old. The stairs was just a little higher by then, but now it is just "is not that high as i think it will be". Funny how hard is to climbing up, our feet gets heavy, but we were climbing and climbing. But when come to the road to comes down, its just easy~laugh out loud~^^

I really have to thank my friend Priya, she was by my site, explaining the histories of Batu caves, and bringing me to temple to temple and tell me about the Indian gods. From what i could remember, batu cave was dark, smelly and dirty. But today, i can even see the mini mart in there. How great is the human mind, to make business going in this cave. The questions, that kept striking my mind was " How they bring up the big soda machine up to the cave ar??"

Stepped in church again after a long period of time, seeking for the face of God, whom always given me Peace and Wisdom. As i open my long kept bible in my hand, i read through the pages, i realize i been too long away from God, he is actually speaking to me from the words of the bible. Instantly i realize i'm just like Habakkuk in the old book. With lots of complain in my prayers, but end with gratefulness at the end. When you read from the bible there is written "Through prayer The just shall live by faith". Where is the faith in me, before i open my mind and toughs to my Lord. Today I open my mouth and speak in tongues, i know i speak in God's language to pray to talk with Him. Yet i realize, i actually being scare to pray to my Lord, as i doesn't know how to lean on Him. I forgotten how to hold tight to my Father in heaven and receive His love. As His child i known really little of Him, how much love He willing to give, how much blessing He await to share to me and my family. I stood there in my place at my sit inside the church, thinking, wondering, praying, as loud and louder i pray, i felt relief. From all that i been through without knowing God is beside me, i felt unworthy, but God is still here with me. In a sudden i ask myself where is my faith? Why i'm so scare? Where am i complaining when i loss my faith? Isn't God is the mighty God? Then why are you so tends? Question shout to me, bring me to a level of spike! A drop of tear run down my chin, and i realize, how much God, wants me here..how much i want to be with Him.. I hope i can always always hold your hand my Father.. to live in faith..

You~

When your around me, i found a smile always on my face, i giggle for you, i dress up for you, i walk properly for you, i stare you in your eyes as your the star of my life. But when your not around me, i found that every person or car that pass by me, i imaging of your image all around me. When i see a my vy, i look at the driver isn't you? When i saw a person wearing yellow t-shirt i think of yours. When i see a person wear slipper, i will think of you. Is that love? Or isn't just you? ~

Jus another day of everything.

Often in life we met people who want to make us down, they often take chances to boom us, but remember one thing when u met these people, God is looking from above. They used their finger to point at us, but they don't realized that there is still 4 fingers pointing at themselves.

while maybe people just cant see that others live a better life than them. For their friendships build on lies, joules, make used of friends. They might not realize it, but they are doing so just to get benefit from another party. No matter how high they live, but without their respects to others they are just poor as beggars. How high they can reach is just the limit of low dignity.

They can act so nice and good to others, but inside there is nothing but hatred, joules, evil toughs. They run on circles, can't find their way out to live up. Life is much more better without them, but without them we might not see how much we grow, and how much further we can go.

Is in my blood...

Is been a long time since i pray so hard till my eyes see vision and speak the blessed word from God. I'm real don't deserved it, i'm nobody, i'm a servant a dog of God, thats what i am. But, i still remember once my pastor was sending a msg to us, where God does not choose the big people, God choose the small people to do great things.

My hands are shaking till my heart beat increasing...when i read the bible story book to my sister and her baby in her womb. I know how strong is the word of God, even if i'm scared i will continue to praise His word's. It means so much to my sister, when i see her eye's, i know that God is making way for her and her family in law's to get closer to God.

Every night when i hold her hand for praying, i hear and see visions from God. Tonight from my mouth, God's words reach me by telling "For this baby is the key for her and her in laws her husband to get near to God". A word that i never think of using, when i say it i felt peace in me, i know at that point is from God. Till now i'm still shaking,but i will say out loud, even if a knife is held on my neck.

God, i know Your Almighty is here with my all the time, please make a way for me to go back to you. I know i'm not worthy, i know i'm not good enough, but please let me stand up for You my King,my Lord. I'm lost without you...

A friend who is in need..

Was looking trough my blog list of friends, i found her blog in my list, from her language and words she shown that she is a well educated girl, maybe a bit rumble at times in life , but she is still holding on.

I never known her well in this 2years time, to me she is just a friend who sit beside me at class. But one day , a person told me regarding her condition at the college, she is slimming down a lot. I notice at times, i told her to take care of herself, but it seem she is not that concern. From that person i talk to, i realize she has treated me as a good friend since we know each other. i was shock at time, but when i recall back she does like to talk with me at times, and i'm been caring for her that which i don't realize, maybe to me is just a simple words of caring, but to her i been a nice person to her. Funny how things turn out between us, i made a good friend, when i don't realize it.

I head back home that day and lay on my bed, thinking a head of what the person has said, she has treated me as a good friend, i should be more concern about her too. I started to think bout plans to know her more, maybe go shopping with her, or even have movies together. But all this is just thinking, the most important thing to me is how to approach her. How to let a person understand that i'm coming towards you to be you friend? I'm real confused...

Maybe when i meet her, i should be able to come clean with her, i just want to let her know i want to be your friend not based on what others has told me, but i i want to be your friend as a a friends. Words is not easy to come out sometime right? Just let time tell us.

Life at this point...

Life at this point is well, all goes fine, lots of support from my family and friends. Study is fine, practical i done my best, life i'm controlling with rational doing. But, when all this is proceeding well, i started to think of my future as a working personal in the hospital, so much to plan and think, to achieve.

At that moment i wanted more, i believe i can do it, is just the matter of time.Discuss it with my family member, mum told me is a great planning, at my age i'm doing well and life is not much of a problem as a student now. But, from my sister she saids that "your plan is good, but you might never know what is a head of you". As she says, it does bring up points that life is not a straight path way, is full of ups and downs. When come to think of it early planning involved lots of thinking and planning, i started to think over and over again, maybe i'm too rushing over my future, i might not known what will happen to me tomorrow. Life is short just go with it!

Friends...

Well, when things come to this limit, is really hard to manage anymore. People are often offensive, to protect their rite, is nothing wrong with that, just listen to what they have to say. But it does not mean they are right, and neither u are right.

Childish is sometimes a word of insult, but don't worry God will take in the word of insult. Just being a normal you will be fine, cause all this hardship is a part of life. Whatever things has to happen is God's plan, nothing is to change, because God has been to tomorrow before we reach there.

Tired? Maybe, really don't think that this is a right way to deal with it. So just let it be, if i'm wrong i know what to do, but if someone is wrong just let it go God will know how to deal with them. You may not change what a person thinks, but you can build up the trust in yourself. Nothing is worth to argue when you still treat them as friends.